The Truman Show (MTC Edition)

家族は大好きです。私は家族に祝福したある。

Week 5

Life in the MTC feels like it is all one day. Even after 5 + weeks I feel like I've really been lied to and that it is really not August, but I've been in this Truman Show type world for 5 months. It just feels like I'm in a giant missionary ant farm sometimes. I can't wait to get to Japan in 3 weeks and actually have real life happen around me and run into real people. Although I discovered this week that I will not even be able to read a Japanese newspaper because you must know 3,000(ish) Kanji in order to read a newspaper. Most misisonaries after 2 years have the reading and writing capacity of a Japanese kindergartener.

So last week I meant to send this in my letter but didn't because I forgot. Last week was Pioneer day and I had always not enjoyed hearing about the Pioneers and how miserable they were and how boring all of the stories about these old people were and being bugged why we focus so much on them. My attitude was always a sort of, "I get it, they suffered so that we could live in this barren desert called Utah" And in some ways that is correct. However, I hadn't truly appreciated the sacrifice of these Pioneers until I came on my mission. I'd never realized how big of a sacrifice it was for these people to trek across the American Great Plains until I had to give up everything I had and give up my life for the sake of inviting others to their personal Zion. I believe my mission to be my personal Pioneer Journey to the West! (Okay so it's actually the Far East but I'm travelling West to get there) I won't be pulling a handcart or suffering on meager rations (I hope), but I will have different hardships to overcome. Cultureshock, companion problems and learning this impossible language instead of Rocky Ridge, Buffalo Chips and the North Platte River Crossing.

Speaking of problems, here are mine. I am not extremely optimistic, or really very optimistic at all. Also, my companion, though he is getting better at it, struggles far more than I with Japanese. I am also quite cynical, which often leads to discouragement, or skepticism instead of hope. So anyway, I tend to become overwhelmed and discouraged because I am able to see all that I have yet to learn. I am too much of a perfectionist to be content with an okay or alright lesson. I am so logical that I get bothered if we don't fully explain the doctrine in a manner that logically makes sense to the investigator. Through all of this, I found that the real problem is my faith. Not that I lack faith, but that I don't exercise it enough. Faith is like any muscle, it must be torn, strained and worked hard before it can grow stronger. I'm not sure how exactly I can exercise my faith more frequently, but I know I can strive to have greater hope than doubt.

So our entire district is sick. We all have a nasty cold type thing which is yucky, and it makes us all very tired all the time. It's not the best idea to have six people living in a room the size of Andrew's room. Especially when one of them practices very poor hygiene despite our continued requests for him to better clean himself. We have two humidifiers in our room which... do absolutely nothing. I sleep on the top bunk so it doesn't affect me at all, and every day this week I have become more and more sick.

The other day マク。長老 (Elder Mak) felt like he had a dark cloud over him and was just depressed and so he asked if we could give him a blessing. I had the opportunity to participate in my first priesthood blessing which was a cool experience to know that I am able to act in the name of God with his power and authority. It was one of those moments where you look at it and realize that this is real. That I'm actually a Missionary and I'm not just some kid who graduated from High School at a 9 week long intense EFY. Also on the way to the Tuesday night devotional at the Marriot Center, we walked by a couple groups of EFY kids and realized that we are actually doing what we have prepared our whole lives to be able to do. It was just a cool moment to experience.

 Every day really seems more and more the same, I think I may be losing my mind here. 3 weeks left and then it's off to Japan! Everyone pray for me to learn this ridiculously hard language! Also I ran into Elder Caine this morning who got here this Wednesday. When does Elizabeth Pace come to the MTC? And is Richard Worsham going to the Peru MTC or Provo? I enjoy seeing people from home to say hi, but I just feel weird talking to them because it usually ends up being about home and just making us mad and miss home so yeah. Also I don't like how half the people i know are at the MTC West (Wyview) campus. I wanted to see some of them! Oh well.

私は私の家族に愛していますよ!　私は皆さんを愛していますよ!　

心から,　    

ペイス。長老　(Elder Pace)

P.S. yes that is actually what my nametag will look like!